Day 277: I am Lost and Found Part 4

     All throughout my life, I have lost things.  Sometimes I end up finding them, and other times, other people save me.  I find this rather mysterious.  Is there some divine reason why I must lose everything, or am I simply distracted and careless? 

     Some of the things I lose can’t easily be gotten back.  Priceless family photos, heirlooms, my first love, my ambition to finish homework, family members, my focus on future goals.  Losing things hurts.  It can leave behind a dull ache or brand your heart with bitter loss that takes years to recover from.  Losing things fills your mind with regrets on what you should have said or done to prevent such loss from happening.  I think that’s your body’s coping mechanism to deal with the pain and fear.  Face it; it’s a very scary thing to know that you do not have control over the things you value most.  You feel just as lost as the things you lose. 

     Right now, my future feels lost to me.  Now, I know you can’t “lose” your future, but you can lose your direction.  I thought I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up.  After the lessons stopped, I suffered through high school hearing that dreaded question, “What are you going to study in college?”  I had no suitable answers because no occupations struck me as something I would eventually enjoy.  I was perfectly content with reading a book and jotting down stories in my notebook.  It should come as no surprise that I became an English major.

     This semester marks the halfway point in my education.  I thought I’d have things figured out by now, but my future still looks as hazy and dark as when I was in high school.  How will I know what to do with my major when I graduate?  Nobody has a definitive answer.   

     The best thing about losing things is that you eventually find them.  Based on my track record, it’s usually in the last place you’d think to look.  It could be sitting smugly under your nose the whole time.  On the other hand, there is a chance that you don’t necessarily find what you’re looking for, but you find something better to replace it with.         

     During one of my mom’s yoga classes, we were posing to Katie Herzig’s song “Lost and Found.”

Somebody found me here
Somebody held my breath
Somebody saved me from the world you left
If you're gonna cry my tears
If you're gonna hold my breath
If you're gonna let me see the sun you set
Oh, I am lost and found
Oh, I am lost and found

As the chorus ended, my mom said, "Sometimes in life you have to lose something in order to find it."  I’m still searching for that future, but I know that someday I’ll find it.  Maybe I need to lose expectations or lose my want for control.  Until I experience that euphoric rush of relief that fills my heart, I’ll wait.    
Does this ending part sound familiar?  I was inspired by Day 97's post and wrote a whole story around it.