Day 216: Comfort

Should be Day 225.  Are you ready to meet more of Maple Height's worship team?

     Robert unbuttoned his vest and set it in his locker at the back of Mr. Hutchin's convenience store.

     "I'll see you on Monday, sir!" he called to the middle-aged man behind the register.

     "Have a good Sunday" he waved.  "Tell your folks I said 'hi.' "

     "I will."

     Robert pulled the keys out of his pocket and started the ignition.  The atomic clock said 3:35.  If traffic was good on the first few streets, he'd be able to make it just in time to start practice, which was a first for him.  He always seemed to be running late for something.  He wondered if it was because he couldn't say "no" to people once in a while.  The Christian radio station was playing his current favorite song, and he sang along at the chorus.

     The first time he had heard "Draw Near to Me," he had been cleaning up his room and feeling hurt.  He had recently had an argument with his parents about how much time he was spending at church.  His parents didn't object to Robert going on Sundays.  Robert's mom had grown up with Sunday school, and his dad thought Christianity was a positive influence on his son's life.  Mark didn't take to it as much as his younger had.  They didn't expect Robert to grow into such an avid believer in Christianity, but it wasn't hurting him.  His dad didn't seem to understand why Robert had to go to church twice a week, but he allowed it.  The only reason why Robert had been allowed to join the worship team was because it furthered his musical talents on the keyboard.  They had come to see him practice once, and he had been excellent.

     That particular day, Robert had been stressed out because he had semester finals coming up, he had agreed to help his mom vacuum the house that weekend, and he was taking an extra shift for a sick coworker.  His mom stated that she didn't like seeing him so stressed out and was second-guessing his large involvement in the worship group.

     "I know you like it, Robert, but music isn't worth this much work if it's going to stress you out so.  Those hours you spend practicing your keyboard could be spent studying or even relaxing."

     "But, Mom, it's not just about the music.  It's about worshipping God, and that is one of the top priorities in my life right now.  It's non-negotiable."

     "Are you trying to be disrespectful?"

     "No," he answered quietly.  "It's just one of the most important things in my life, and I don't want to have to give that up."

     "I understand that, honey, but I don't want you running yourself thin."

     "I won't, I promise.  I just need to get some extra sleep.  It's only for this one week."

     If that hadn't been bad enough, a half hour later, his father complained to Robert that he didn't mow the lawn like he had asked him to.  In rushing to get from his job to worship practice, he had completely forgotten about it by the time he had come home.  Robert tried to apologize, but his father lectured him that his church stuff was taking away from his chores at home, and that was unacceptable.

     Robert took the verbal abuse silently.  Each remark about how church wasn't important stabbed at his heart.  His tongue bled a little from him biting it so hard in order to keep from arguing back.  After his father finished and he promised to mow within the hour, Robert had slipped upstairs to be alone with his thoughts and do something productive in the process.

     As he sorted through all the books he had strewn across his desk, he thought about how unfair his life seemed at the moment.  None of his friends knew how hard it was to be the only one in his entire family that was a Christian.  It was such a balance, juggling honoring God and secular parents who he loved deeply.  He wasn't sure what hurt more, being persecuted almost every day in some way for loving God, or knowing that his family didn't share the same love he did.  They were closed off from a very special part of his life, and he couldn't make them understand it.  As he grew as a Christian, he could feel himself slipping further from his family.  It was such a cold, isolated feeling.  Robert was losing strength to stop it.

     Thinking he needed some music to distract him, Robert turned on the radio and listened closely to a new song that talking about a singer feeling rejected, like Paul did after he had been kicked out of a city for preaching, and how he longed for God to draw near to Him because he needed to feel His love and be lifted up.  Robert, not able to do anything else, sat his bed until the last note was abruptly followed by a loud commercial.  As the final chorus had played, Robert had prayed what the lyrics said, and he was feeling renewed already.  Ever since, Robert felt that same comfort whenever he heard that song.

     The song on the car radio switched to a more upbeat tune, and it snapped Robert out of his reverie.  He didn't feel despondent dwelling on the past but hopeful for the future.  The traffic looked clear now, and Robert grinned as he realized he'd actually show up a few minutes early.