The Prompt: Why would a pastor think of leaving the pulpit?
I look back on that time of my life and part of me feels ashamed. Another part of me welcomes the memories that I am only human. Sometimes I can't believe I could actually fall into such a web of thinking. It's not a black and white decision like you would think. It's easy for the devil to attack you when you are weak, and that is exactly how I was.
It can get discouraging when you come into church to preach two and three sermons at least once a week, sacrificing your time and energy, and your congregation doesn't seem to appreciate it. They accept it. I know I shouldn't do it for them but for God, so I put the feeling out of my head. It's another matter though when you work hard all week on a sermon, trying to give a good message, make it relatable, and sprinkle it with humor, and it hardly seems to affect your audience. You start to question yourself, your qualifications to preach, your inspiration, your messages. You start to doubt if there is someone else out there better for the job.
These are the seeds of doubt that I let seep into me over the last few months. I don't blame any of you, so please do not feel guilty. There is nothing to be guilty for. I am sharing this to you all now because I want you to not make the same mistake I did. A Christian should recognize the truth from the lies Satan tells, but he enters you when you are weak. That is why I implore to pray about your doubts and fears. Let God cast them from your mind. Don't let them sit and fester as I did. Nip them in bud as soon as the first tiny lie creeps into your head. The Lord will help you.
After I went through that period in my life of questioning, I came out a stronger Christian and a stronger pastor. My reason for being your pastor has been made new to me. I am rejuvenated and ready for the next season serving you. I am just truly sorry I ever considered letting you all down by thinking about leaving.
Well written! I think you nailed this one.
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